This is my ‘Dark Period’.
These are dark times….
The sun is engulfed by gloom.
A gloom that is a bottomless pit.
Anyone who has never been to this place will never understand it.
Anyone who has been there, will surely sympathize, because they will understand the demons that haunt and the blackness that spreads with every cell division in your body.
And it feels like you are alone – no one gives a flying shit about you or the pain you face; they care neither about your physically caused pain, nor the mental struggles that keep you locked up like a prisoner in your own shell of a skin.
You feel like shouting at the world, but your shouts come out with only silence because there are none who care…none who give a damn.
Joy…What is Joy? Joy has abandoned me – you too will understand this if you have lived through this hell: Depression is a bottomless pit of gloom, misery, a soul-energy-wasting demon that never sleeps. Evil is busy – it never sleeps….it never sleeps.
~ Nawfal Johnson ~
People tell and advise you never to expose negative thoughts and feelings about yourself, for God sakes never do that, or possible clients and employers will see it and they will shun you like you are Typhoid-Mary! Probably true. Well, F’that! I am just an expressive artist who is having the worst shit of a time in my entire life, at 49, and nothing I do seems to be working or helping.
However, when did art not become an expressive way of expressing yourself? When did poetry or writing NOT become a personal expression of life, your life as it is today when you write it?
If I had a theme song in my life right now, that I could just put on repeat, it would be Pink Floyd’s “Comfortably Numb.” But they would need to change it to “Un-Comfortably Numb” to fit better.